There are so many great groups out there, all over the country. You can find groups on Meetup, Facebook, and by searching online for homeschool groups in your city, county, area, state.
If you can’t find a group, or can’t find a group that works well for your family, you can create one.
This might seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be hard. I have run groups for about 19 years. At first I ran mom's groups, but as kids went off to preschool, I realized that I needed to transition into running a homeschool group to help create community for my family.
I’m going to share some things that I have found helpful for creating a successful group.
I have used Meet-up for many years because you are able to see a picture of a person, their name, and answers for whatever questions you ask. I always ask the names and ages of their kids. Someone joining the group might feel that is a little bit invasive; however, in order to really make connections, it is helpful to know what ages the kids are for given activities and it helps to start to learn their names. If you’re signing up for an event and see there are only high schoolers going, and you only have a four-year-old, you might think about whether there’s a different event for you to attend that day.
There are plenty of other platforms to use for organizing groups. I just haven’t found them to be as helpful in organizing events; but many of them are free, which is awesome.
NAMES: People have always joked that learning names is my superpower (which I think is kind of a lame superpower) but it is very helpful when running groups. When I see an RSVP with a new member attending an event, I look at their name, their picture, and the names/ages of their kids so that I can try to spot them at the event. Once I find them, I introduce myself and try to learn a little about them by chatting with them and their kids. If I find out their kids are really into Legos or playing board games or roller skating or some other activity, I am able to direct them toward another family or two whose kids have the same interests or kids of similar ages. Helping them to make those connections right away with people of similar interests is a great way to get them connected so they have something to chat about with other members.
NAME TAGS: I love name tags. I love learning names. I love that name tags give the ability for people to learn each other’s names, who their kids are, etc. While it’s usually pretty easy for me to remember names, I know that is not something that comes easily for many people. Having the name tags there so that members can put a face to a name at each event is really helpful. It also is really helpful that parents and kids can see who’s with our group (and who’s not) to seek out those families to make connections. Otherwise you might be chatting with other moms and kids at a park day or on a field trip, and then realize none of them were in your group and you or your kids were forging connections with people that you might never see again.
RULES: Rules aren’t something fun to talk about; however, I have found that having expectations set out in advance is very helpful. Members need to know what the group is like and what they can expect. The rules for my group have been pretty simple: the first one is to always be kind, and the second one is to always be respectful (respectful of other people, the venues we’re at, the host’s house, someone else’s belongings, etc. and includes using appropriate language and behavior). If members know those expectations when they join and then I hear their kids cursing at park day, I can remind them of our expectations and that they’re setting an example to the younger kids and as homeschoolers. If I find that kids are continuing with those behaviors and I’ve already spoken to the family about it, I let them know that it might not be the right group for them but there are lots of other groups out there that might be a better fit. I get that many families think language is fine or dressing certain ways is fine or whatever, so it’s just finding the right group that fits into those expectations for your family. One thing that is super important as an organizer is to follow through in handling issues that arise. If you have expectations but you don’t care if members actually follow them, they will not trust that the group is a safe and good place for their kids. Here are the rules for my group as an example:
“In order to help our group thrive we need our group events to be harmonious. We like our events to be peaceful, inclusive, and filled with kindness. We try to avoid having an atmosphere that includes yelling, being unkind or harsh, or filled with drama. This goes for both the parents and the kids.
We do ask that all older kids remember that they are influencing the younger crowd and that they behave appropriately. We do not allow cursing, name-calling, or destructive/disrespectful behavior at our events. We can share information on our favorite curriculum and our favorite homeschool classes while our kids have a chance to learn and play together knowing that they are in a safe environment. If parents need to address issues with their kids, we ask that it is done so in a respectful way.”
LISTS: I am a big list-maker and I think through exactly what we will be doing, what members need to bring, and what they can expect, and then I write a list based on that. For example, if I’m hosting a science project at the park, I will write out a description of the science project along with a list of what is needed. It may be that you need to bring the stuff for your own family to do their project, or you may need to bring some components to contribute for everyone to work collaboratively. When I’m thinking out what we will need, I try to list out each component separately and leave a space for people to sign up for that component - that way I know everything is covered, and if anything is missing I can grab it on the way or bring it from home. If we’re having a potluck, I will list out each item that is needed (paper plates, napkins, main dishes, salads, desserts, tablecloths, etc). Listing out each of those items separately allows members to know what is needed, what to expect, and how they can help. People often want to help but aren’t sure how unless they’re given a specific list of something they can contribute.
REMINDERS: Something else that has helped in having successful group events is sending reminders. I send out a reminder email about the event and what members need to bring. This is especially helpful when I’ve scheduled things months in advance.
RSVP’S: I’ve always had a policy about people not showing up when they’ve RSVP’d for an event. Obviously things happen occasionally - a kid gets sick, your car breaks down, or whatever, that you might not know about until the very last minute; but if you’re just not showing up because you decided to leave town or you just decide if you don’t want to attend, and we’re depending on you to bring plates for our potluck or paint for the painting project we’re doing, it puts everyone else in a bind, and especially puts me in a bind because then I have to scramble to figure out what’s missing and somehow run and get it while hosting an event. My policy is usually to remove a member from the group if they have three no-shows in a year. Obviously there are extenuating circumstances and I’m flexible in those cases. However, it’s not fair to everyone else when people are counting on you to be there or we don’t meet our minimum numbers for a field trip so everybody has to pay more because you decided to stay home that day.
I don’t think asking members to keep their word is too much of an expectation. RSVP’ing when you are attending is important, too! We may be planning an art project and not have enough for your kids if you show up without RSVPing or everybody else might not get what they would’ve gotten because you didn’t bother to tell us you were coming.
MEMBER ISSUES: I have mediated tons of issues within my groups over the years. I try to direct all issues back to the rules and expectations. If somebody is not meeting those or not sticking within the boundaries of our group in terms of expectations, it’s easy to address the issue. Having those expectations in place is very helpful. If there is an issue that arises, I try to address it by letting the parent know their child was not abiding by the rules of the group - the rules that the family agreed to before they joined the group.
HOSTING: My policy is that every family hosts at least one event per year. They can team up with another family or host on their own. They can host a themed park day, a potluck, a field trip, an educational day, or whatever cool thing they come up with. The collaboration of all the members greatly enriches the group and gives us a wide variety of activities to choose from instead of only the ones I think up.
ASSISTANT ORGANIZERS: It’s great to have a team to bounce ideas off of, to help manage events, to answer questions, and to fill in when I’m out of town. It takes some of the pressure off when you have others willing to help run the group.
While this might seem like a lot of information, know that starting and running your own group is totally doable! You can also team up with another parent (or more) to get the group up and running and not have to shoulder all of the work yourself. Having a community to homeschool with, go on field trips with, bounce ideas off of, and to support each other is invaluable, and my family has been so grateful for our homeschool groups all these years.
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